Imma Wiserd with Commentary
by Maharani Radha
Summary: Title says all. I was searching around for a good HP fic and what do you know? I find this thing. *sigh*
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hola guys! So after Born this Way, all of a sudden I found this guy…You may have heard of it. It's called "Imma Wiserd." Well, let's see what fun I can have with this guy. Oh boy. I don't own this guy's work or Harry Potter. **

**Warning: The original contains racism. I'll be combating this with a huge amount of sarcasm.**

* * *

AN: afta redin da hairy potty** Bad mental image…** books **YOU READ THE BOOKS?** (not rly i saw the mooviez lolololol)** Why do I bother? You liar. ** i desided 2 make mi own hary potty storee.** Oh dear God…**

note 2 da reedars:** Um…Author's note is the same thing as note to readers** neva beliv any1 hu sayz a blak man dont like fired chickin** What? Are you stereotyping? I know a girl who's **_**African American **_**(which is the politically correct and more respectful term) who hates fried chicken!**

I wuz sittin out on da porch an mi mama leend out da windo an sayed "watchu doin soulja spirit buu jackson?".** Wow…way to play to stereotypes! Is that your real name?**

"nuttin much" i said "we gut no food". **Of course you don't gut food! You eat it! **

"o turtle don cri" **Turtle? Make up your mind! What is your name?**

"na mama i aint mad" **She said "Don't cry" genius **i says. den i loked at da gund n said "i wish i had sum fried chinkin" **Ok… **den... dere wuz fried chikin on da grion!11111111111111 **OH GROSS!**

"yo buu wuz dat i smel" **Huh? **mi mama said. I lookd arund all snecky **Snecky? That's a new non-word **like and den i whispad "fried chikin" an it went away.** Wait…what?** i wuz scared but nut in a afrayed way. **Are you stupid or something? Scared and afraid mean the same thing! They are synonyms! Wait, that's too big a word. My apologies. **den i whispad again "fried chicken" and it appered agan!111 **WHAT THE FLIP IS GOING ON WITH YOU AND FRIED CHICKEN? **so den i desided 2 tri sumden out. "wattamelon" **Oh dear Lord. **an dere it iz a big ol slice o watrmellon at mah fet. **Magic ooooh! [insert sarcasm here] **mah mam lend out da door agan "boi now i no i smel sumden". **Ok….so what? **so den i leaned ova and wispad "fired chikin... wattamelon" an dey boat went away.** What boat?** i gut up an says 2 mi mama "lock mama!11 i aint gut nottin!11"** I did not understand what the point of that whole scene was. **

"but im so hundreh" **Huh?** sayed ma mama. den i felt sad. **Ok random. **so i pointed mah finger at da grund an sayed "fried chikin" den a big ol bunmch of fired chikim appeerd. **Oh no. I'm going to have nightmares of chicken tonight **mi mama jumpt an scrammd. she ran in da house an slamed da door. "dun cum bak or ill shot ya!" she sayd. **What the heck? **so i left. **Forever? Are we done?**

so whadda think? **Hated it. **IF U FLAM UR RASSIST. **Well whatever "rassist" is, it's certainly not me. If you mean "racist," well, I'm not stereotyping now am I?**

* * *

**AN: Wow. That was confusing. My head's spinning. Review! Maybe it'll cure my head.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Second chapter! Here we go. I don't own this guy's work.**

* * *

AN: im jus ritin dis now becuz i gut a butload o insparashun** Oh dear…**

den i went 2 hagwats. dena nigga **SEE! I TOLD YOU HE WAS RACIST! **came out a no were an says "hey im harry potter"** Huh?**. i turned an said "u aint harry potter!11 i saw him in da movis!"

"i no but fo da audeance dey got a wite boi 2 play mi"** Oh I get it now! You're an African American who's racist against Caucasians. Harry Potter wasn't African to being with. It's NOT racism! Geez. Just because everyone in the world isn't the same race as you are does **_**not **_**make them racist. Holy Hera! Sorry. Rant over. **

"wat i said.

"u herd mi"

"dem rassist ppl!"** Wow. From my point of view, **_**you're **_**the racist one. **

i entred da big ol place were everabodi eatz **You mean the Great Hall? **an dey put da wiserd hat on mi hed and it says "yo in ravenclaw"** Now that's a new one. **

"hey daz were i stay"** Oh great. HE'S IN GRYFFINDOR!** sed harry potter. den we both went to da room togedder. wen we were dere we saw the dumbldoor.** What the heck is a dumbldoor?** an he turnt 2 mi an sez "welcum 2 skool distrect 7 **Huh? **(wateva dat meens). im ur dumbledoor." **You mean DUMBLEDORE? **

hairy turnd t mi an seys "dis is da dumbledoor of da entire skool."** Oh gosh. Dumbledore is his **_**name! **_

"hi mistr duumbledoor"

"yo can call mi alvin". **Holy Hera it's ALBUS!**

"ok alvin"

"goodbi" he sed an raned **Raned? What's that mean? **out on hiz broomstik.

"im sleepi" sed hairy potter

"butt its not even 12 o clock yet" i sed** I'm sleepy before 12:00. **

"i no but tomorow we hav skool an ill sho u all de pretti girlz an how to play bromstiks" **Oh gosh….**

"sho" i sed "do u lik 50 cent?" **What's that?**

"do u lik soulja boi?" sed harry **And that?**

we were best frends. **O.o**

* * *

**AN: Hoo boy. What did you think? Review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Another chapter of atrocity! Enjoy.**

* * *

AN: im jus crankin dem out!1 **Oh dear Lord. **if dis keepz up i jus mite publish it! **NO! For the love of all things good DO NOT publish this!**

da next day me an hary went doun 2 da big kitchin where all da chillin were chillin :) **Wow. You are so unprofessional. Who puts smiley face in the middle of the work? I can understand in author's notes but **_**not **_**in the middle of a professional piece of writing. If I did that in my **_**Lord of the Flies **_**paper, my English teacher would have failed me. **

i sat down at a tabel nex 2 a pak o crackers **Why are you sitting next to crackers? Are you hungry still? **whu sayd "boi u cnat sit here!" **Oh they're people? Wait…is this a racist term or something? **

"y" i sed

"u haf 2 sit at da bak of da kitchin!" **You are portraying Caucasians in a really bad, racist light. Stop. The Civil Rights Movement happened. Ok? Yes, it happened and I'm not condoning what they did, but it was over forty years ago. Most people **_**aren't **_**like that any more. GET OVER IT!**

den hairy came down an sayed "dun mind him. dat tabel is fo da snake ppl.** I'm starting to feel bad for Slytherin now. Well I'm sure not everybody in Slytherin is a meanie, just Draco, Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy, & Voldemort. I'm starting to feel bad for them too.** ur a ravencaw! u hav 2 sit at da ravenclaw tabel!" so we sat at da ravinclaw tabel. "dun mind dat cracker. daz rassist." **And so are you. **

"ok" i sed

"des r mi frinds" dere wuz a pretty gurl named herman. **Herman? Oh gosh HERMIONE ABUSE! **she fell in love wit me. **You know, this is the first case of a Gary-stu I've seen. Wow. Applause for originality. Applause over. GARY-STU! **it wuz so grat. we had brekfast togedder. den we went 2 skool. furst we had magik class. **Holy rainbow cheese peanut butter monkeys, EVERYTHING IS ABOUT MAGIC! **the teecher wuz an old womin wit glases and an ol droopy suit. **I think this is McGonagall abuse. **"letme see wut u can do" she said. i pointed at da ground. "fried chikin" **Here we go again. **i sed. sum fried chikin apered on da flor. she piked it up an took a bit. "yum yum" she sayed and eatted it all. "i no wut class u should go in. u shud go in da blak magic clas."** Huh?**

"wut" i sed.

"dun worri, im nut rassist" she sad. "sum children r good at blak magik whil odders r wite magik."** YES YOU ARE RACIST HOLY CRAP! **

"well ok" i sed

she gave us lots o homwork.** Sucks for you. I get lots of homework too. **

we had mor classes. **No shoes, Sherlock. **den hary tok me outsid. "heres a bromstik" he said. and he gave me a bromstik. "wats dis 4?" i sed. "4 bromstiks fool!" harry sed. "dunt get hurt turtle" sed herman. **What is broomsticks?**

"now dis is wut u hav 2 catch" sed hary and he took out a ball wit wings. it flu in2 da ski.** Oh my gosh…I figured it out. It's Quidditch. Oh no. **

but u hav 2 dog dis cuz it will try an hit u" he took out a big blak ball that hit me in mi hed. "ow i sed" **No shoes, Sherlock. If you got hit with a BLUDGER it would hurt. **

"sorry" sed hary. he took out his wand an sed "go away" and the big blak ball flu into da sky. ***sigh***

den he tok da biggist ball of dem all. it looked lik a soccer ball. "u have to pass dis so it goes into da hols." he throgh it at me an i caut it. "UR AMAZING" **GARY-STU **sed harry potter. so we flew up in da sky an began 2 play. mi ballz startd 2 hurt. **Oh no. **"my balls hert!" i sed. **WHY THE FLIP WOULD YOU SHOUT THAT OUT LOUD? **"sit on it lik dis" sed harry potter. an i did. meanwhile we playd an alot o ppl came arond an watcht ud. dere wuz so many of dem dat dey filed up all da seets. dey wa cherin. **Gary-stu **den i saw da flin bal. i didnt wan t harry to see it so i sed "imma gonna go up here fo a whil" **You cheater. **

"wel alrit as log as u dont cach da snickers!" **SNITCH!**

"ok" i sed lik i didn se it. **Liar. Cheater. **

"wel ok" sed harry potter "bcuz im aboot to put da ball in ur hole!" **O.O Did anyone **_**else**_** get a really **_**bad **_**mental image reading that line?**

i went up but wen i wuz abutt to get it a guy in a big blak cap came in on his brommsticks. He poented his wond at me "die". i den fel off mah bromstik. **And died?**

"AHHHHHHHHH!111111111" i sed. **The hell I would scream if I fell. **

"TURTLE!11111" sed herman. da ppl scremd when i wuz fallin. it hit da grund. then i died. **YES! STORY OVER!**

* * *

**A/N: Review? Pretty please?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Here we go again.**

* * *

An: heres anodder chapper! **WHAT?**

da next day i wook up in da hosbitel. **I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD! HOLY MUSHROOMS!** "ur all betta" sed da nurse.

"nigga **Racist! Bad word! **don scar me lik dat" sed herman. **Gosh. I find it ironic that you don't even know how to spell your lust object's name. **

"u almost dyd" sed harry pottr.** HOLY FLYING CHEESE PEANUT BUTTER MONKEYS I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!**

"wut was dat?" i sed.

"it wuz da dark lord vadermort and he wantz to hurt ur mama" **Oh great. Epic Gary-Stu *****facepalm***

"WART?11" i sed **He has a wart? Oh that's gross. **

"u gotta lisin turtle u gotta kill vadermort. it sed so in da profasi" **EPIC GARY-STU OF THE APOCALYPSE! Geez he and Ebony should date. **

"dat sounds dangerus" sed herman **No shoes, Sherlock. **

"yeah he wants 2 destroi da world" sed harry **No shoes, Sherlock. **

"ok" i sed "if he touchs ma mama **O.o **IMMA POP A CAP IN DAT NIGGAS ASS!11111" **Holy moly…. Racist. **

den da dubledoor cam in. "shuddnt u chilldrn b in class?" he sed **Wow. Insensitive Dumbledore. **

"but da dark lard almst killd turtel!11" sed herman **I thought he was dead! How can he come back to life? Gary-Stu. **

"dun say dat name" sed da vadermort **What's a vadermort? **"especially u turtle"

"well ill hafta suspind u all" **Not expel? **sed dumbeldoor "especially u turtle" den da dumbldor runnd awy on his bromstik. so we all went bak to our rooms.

i went to sleep. when i wuz alssep i saw da man wit da blak cape and da blak coat. dere was a snake coimg out of da front a himself.**HUH?** he wuz sittin in a char in fron of da fried place. **What fried place? Oh….fire place **he sed 2 da snape "imma kill dat nigga boi soulja spirit buu jackson" I woke up scard. **No shoes! **dere wuz som1 under da cofers wit me. **O.o **it wuz herman. she wuz nekked. **Oh no…**"lets hav sex" she said. **Holy shoes! I didn't see this happening. I'll have to change the rating….**so she bends over and i stuk my big blak cok in her tinee wite ass. **THAT IS SO GROSS! YOU JUST MET YOU GARY-STU!**

"YES TURTLE YES" she sed. **Oh dear Lord! **den i cam. an we stop. "what r u doin" sed harry next to me. **Doing it. **"noddin" **Liar **i sed ambarrist. "oh. i tot i herd somting."

"i didnt heer noddin" i sed. **Liar**

"oh, okay" sed harry and he went bak to slep. **He's an idiot. **den we all went doon 2 brekfest. "how did u slep?" sed herman. "gret" i sed an slimed. **Slimed? You slimed her? O.O BAD MENTAL IMAGE!**

"what're u guys takken bout" sed harry pottr. **You don't want to know. **

"aww noddin" i sed an i smield. **Liar.**

"yeh" sed herman an she smiled. **YOU MAKE HERMIONE LIE TOO? Die. **

"yeh" i sed an i slmied 2.

"what r u boiz smilin bout?" sed da dumbeldoor. **Boys? But Hermione is a girl! Oh you epic fail of an author! Can't spell your lust object's name or get her gender right!**

"ah noddin" **Liar. **

"well u had bettr hury up an get 2 clss" sed da dubledoor.

"ok we sed an den we went 2 magik class **BUT EVERYTHING TAUGHT IS ABOUT MAGIC!**

"did u all do ur homerk?" sed da teakher? **What's a Teakher? Anybody? **

"i didnt" i sed. **Because you were busy doing things you shouldn't have done you bad, bad student and bad, bad role model. What a great thing to teach kids my age. Rant over. **

"why not, turtle! u hav such potenshal!" she sed **Hell. If I didn't do my homework, my teacher would either a) have my head or b) give me a 0. She wouldn't compliment me I can guarantee you that. **

"bcuz he was almost kiled bi vadermort" we sed.

"u fot vadermort?** What's Vadermort?** u must b a grat wizrd!" **Oh Voldemort. **she sed. "fin u get an a+" she sed. **YOU GARY-STU YOU! I would most DEFINITELY NOT get an A+ for not doing my homework!**

we sat thro class.** Wow. What an amazing way to end a chapter!**

AN: haha u thot i wuz ded didnt u! **Yes I did. **well i trikd u **You are a liar. It's not good to lie. **lololol mor chpters cummin soon **NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**

* * *

**A/N: Review? Pretty please? Radha likes reviews. **


	5. Chapter 5

AN: tanks 4 all da gud reveuz! **What are you talking about? I read your reviews. They're flames! You are deluding yourself. Stop it before you crush your self-esteem permanently. **recntly i watched da hary pottr moovies again so i cud get ma fadcts strat. **Hmm….Why don't you…READ THE BOOKS? Oh shocker!**

"helo everabodi mah nam is magik jonson" sed magik jonson.** Who the heck is Magic Johnson? There is no such character!**

"water u doin techin dis class" i sed **Good question. I'd like to know. **

"im ur techer" **No shoes. Who did the Dumbledoor fire? **sed magik jonson "dey duont call mi magik 4 noddin!1 **Oh wow. **wen i quit bascetball i bcam a techer at hogwats" **YOU CAN'T BE A MUGGLE TO TEACH AT HOGWARTS! **i loked arond da room. dere wuz alot o niggas **Racist. **in dis class. an... DRACO!111 but he sat at da bak o da classrom. **I'm starting to feel bad for Draco. Are you going to be racist to him too?**

"class 2day we will lurn how 2 sumon patronises" **And yours is going to be a dunce cap?**

"wuz a patronis" i sed **Yes. It is going to be a dunce cap. **

"ull see" sed magik jonson.

so we went in2 da midle off da room

"normaly wen pracisin wit partorises we normally use dememtors **A real Dementor? Do you want to kill your students?**... but seeing as how dis is a blak magik class" ***double epic facepalm of the apolcalypse* if I can steal that line form Butterfly. **an he winked "were gonna use somtin alidle bit diferant" he went ova to da closet an opned in. an out came... A KLUKKLUCKSKLANMAN!1111 **For the love of the rainbow cheese peanut butter monkeys, the CIVIL RIGHTS MOVEMENT HAPPENED AND THERE AREN'T THAT MANY KKK MEMBERS ANYMORE! Most people **_**aren't **_**racist and the freaks that are aren't going to run around and try to hurt you. Why? Because it's **_**illegal.**_** If you could just **_**forgive and forget **_**life will be so much easier for you. Just because a sample of Caucasians decided to go commando doesn't mean all of them are racist. It seems like you **_**want **_**to live in the 1960's again. Geez! Sorry. Rant over. **

so we all wnet up an did r patronises. ron did a snak. jenni did a egele. den i cam up an did a big o dragen. **Crap. No dunce cap? I was hoping for that. **"DAZ AMAZING" sed magik jonson.

den draco cam up an did a cjickin cuz he wuz a chikin. **Wowwwwww…..** "dat wuz dum" sed magik jonson "u fail". drako wen bak 2 da bak of da room. **I'm starting to feel really bad for Draco right now, and I didn't think that was possible (until I read the 6****th**** and 7****th**** books). **

den da police came an arrestd me fo no reson. **What? **"wuz goin on" sed makig jonson. **I'd like to know too. **"ur under arrest" sed da cops. an dey tok me away an i wen to jail. **YEAH!**

An: suzpensfl iznt it? **No. It's random. **nex chapta cummin soon. **NOOOOOOOOOO!**

* * *

**Review? Please? **


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Sorry I haven't updated this for a while. I needed a break from this bloody excuse for a fanfic. Here we go again. **

* * *

AN: im glad 2 see dat evry1 likd mi stori so i desided 2 rit da nex chapta now!111 **Oh no! Please no!**

i wuz in jail. **Noooooooo!** it wuz cold but i had a cot an a toylet an mi romatez nam wuz kiwan. **And how do these two things make you warm? You know what…the mental image…I don't want to know. Ignorance is best. ** i wuz sad. ***rolls eyes***

"let mi out!11" i sed.

"no" he sed.

"why did yo put mi in here i didnt do aniting" i sed. **How about being a Gary-Stu, racist, having bad grammar, spelling, and generally producing a piece that is a disgrace to every educated person on the planet? Just saying.**

"bcuz ur a nigger an as u no we da police hate niggers" **NOBODY IS LIKE THAT ANYMORE AND IF ANYONE IS LIKE THAT, THERE ARE VERY FEW! MOST PEOPLE LOOK DOWN UPON RACISM! **

"U CANT US DAT WORD" sed kiwan

"yeh daz r word" i sed. **African American people do not use the "n" word. Why? Because it is a racist term that has been associated with horrible things. **

"nigger nigger niger" he sed an began 2 laff. **This is not funny. This is racist.**

"well i no a word u mite like" i sed "DRAGEN!111111" den a dragen cam out. **HOW DID YOU DO THAT YOU GARY-STU YOU!**

"!11111111111111111111111" he sed as the ragen began 2 eat him **What's a ragen?**

"hes a blak magicon!1" sed anodder gard. **What's a magicorn? A magical unicorn? WHY DO YOU DISGRACE UNICORNS?**

"den i gess well haf 2 tak away his wand!1" sed annoder. an dey did. **But he's a Gary-Stu! You CAN'T take away his magic! And if they put you in jail, why would they let you keep your wand anyway?**

"now u cant us magic!1" sed kiwan "but i wish u did... dey dont feed niggas lik us in jail..." **Oh COME on! You know there's a law against cruel and unusual punishments. It's in the Bill of Rights!**

den i had an idea. "du u lik fried chickin" **What the hell is up with this effing fried chicken?**

"sho i do" he sed "but not all blak ppl lik fried chikin. dat wud be rassist" **HOW WOULD THAT BE RACIST? THAT IS STEREOTYPING, WHICH CAN GO HAND IN HAND WITH RACISM! **

"ok" i sed an pointed at da grund an sed "fried chickin" an dere it was. **Gary-Stu. **

"hooooray!1111111111111111" sed kiwan. "ur da gratist wiserd iv eva nown!"

den... da fried chickin startd 2 chang... it wuz... VADERMORT!1111111111111 **Oh Lord. End this now!**

"die" he sed but kiwan jumpd in da wai an his hed esploded! **Ok…**

"beep" sed vadermort **What the hell?**

"turtle! get mi uzi! its i n mi left pokket!1" sed kiwan. **But I thought his head exploded? Did you bring him back to life, or do I have two Gary-Stus on my hands? **an i did. an i shot bullets on vadermort. **Yeah like that's going to kill him. **

"IM DIING!" sed vadermort. blod wuz goin evrywere. **Well I guess it did. VOLDEMORT CAN BLOCK MUGGLE WEAPONS! **

"never trust a blak wizard" i sed. **Now YOU'RE being racist **an i sed "DRAGEN" an dere wuz more blod evrywere. **Wow. **

"AHHHH IM DIING EVEN MOR!11" sed vadermort. **How can you die even more?**

den he fel on da grund ded. **YOU KILLED VOLDEMORT YOU GARY STU! **

"U KILLD VADERMORT!111" sed harry potter. **Well at least that means the story's over, right?**

"GUD JOB" sed magik jonson.

den snap cam up an sed "cum 2 mi oriface" **How the heck did you get out of jail?**

AN: but dunt worri dis is nut da last uv herd of darth vader!111 **Wait…what? Now you're disgracing STAR WARS! NO!**

* * *

**A/N: Review? Make my day?**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hmmmm not Author's Note for this chapter. Just a warning, this chapter is fairly racist…well then again, the whole piece is.**

* * *

"my my what an ingoyable **Wow, so far he takes the cake for creating "non-words." I don't think Ebony could do much better. **meal" sed snape totchin da sids of his moth **O.O He tries to be descriptive but fails. Anyone else get a realy bad mental image? **wit his napkin. he wuz sitin at his desk eatin. **I think I'm smart enough to discern that much. **i wuz sitin in a char in front of his desk. i wasn't eatin. **And that is relevant how? **he wiped his hands off on da napikn an folded it in a tryangl bside his plat. **WHY DO I FIRETRUCKING CARE?**

"you moronic negresint layabout **Dude, stop trying to make-up "non-words." It makes you sound dumb rather than smart**. do you know why i brot you here?" sed snape.

i didnt no.

"leef da poor boi alone" sed hagrid.

"no. i think he shud be expeled." sed snape. **YEAH! I side with Snape. Who's with me? Snape seems to be a teeny bit in character here. **

"well why" sed da dubleedor.

"becuz he brot a gun to school." sed snape. **Great reason! EXPULSION! Then we can discontinue this monstrocity. **

"but he wuz trien 2 fite vadermort" sed herman. **So what?**

"thats no alabi" sed snape. "he hangs at sundown" **I THOUGHT YOU SAID EXPULSION! Oh dear Lord. More I'm-going-to-torture-my-character-so-you-can-feel-bad-for-him Gary Stuness. **

"WAT!1111" sed harry potre.

"you heard me" sed snape.

"its tru" sed da dumbledoor "bringin a gun 2 skool is punishable by death. **No it's not. It's punished by suspension or expulsion. **especally if ur blak" **Oh COME ON! That happened YEARS ago! Get over it! **

"!11111111111111" sed herman.

"but wayt! da suns alreddy down!" i sed. ***rolls eyes***

"then i guess we have to hang you now!" sed snape.

"N **Random N in the middle of the page. Oh yeah, really professional. **

"!111111111111111" sed herman. an began 2 cry.

den... out of no were... HARRY POTTER BUST IN2 DA ROOM!11111 **BUT HE WAS ALREADY IN THE ROOM!**

"hey wait! u cant kill turtle! den hus goona kill vadermort!" he sed. **BUT YOU SAID VOLDEMORT IS ALREADY DEAD!**

i wuz standin on da stage wit ma hed in da rope. **And since **_**when **_**did they leave the office to go to the gallows?**

hermon wuz dreesed in a blak dress wit a vail an cryin on harys sholder. **Hermione, get over him. **

"hahaha" sed snape. it wuz thunderin an lightnin and rain wuz fallin everywere. "with you gone, vadermort can rule then world!111" **But I thought you, the epic Gary Stu, killed him. **

i wuz a gonner. **Yes you are. So you're going to use your epic Gary Stu powers to get out of this one, right?**

AN: now dat wuz excitin!111 **No it wasn't.** sorry it tok so long. **No please, take your time. **i had to look up those big words for snape **They were non-words! And how long does it take to open a thesaurus? **bcuz hes wite an probably jewish. **RACIST!**

* * *

**A/N: Review?**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Here we go again….**

* * *

i wuz abot 2 die. **Noooooo really? [insert sarcasm here]**

den... a big blak nigga **STOP BEING RACIST!** flu in on a grifen an thru me ma bromstik. **Uh ok….**

"!11111111111111" sed snape. **HOW DO YOU SHOUT EXCLAMATION MARKS?**

i got on mi bromstik an flu awai wit da big blak nigga **RACIST!**. we flu ova till we fund his apartmant. **Fund his apartment? Ok then. I hope you have lots of money. Wait you're a Gary Stu. What am I talking about?**

"hi im shieqwaz" he sed **Is this supposed to be some kind of name you think African Americans have or something?**

"call mi turtle" i sed.

"im snapes brodder" sed shieqwaz. **SNAPE HAS NO BROTHER!**

"no u aint" i sed "dat nigga **RACIST **aint blak" **For once I agree with the Gary Stu. **

"yes i is" he sed "we bof haff da saim mama but i cam out blak an he cam out jewish. **How is this possible? If the mom is black, ok maybe one came out darker than the other that is possible. However Judaism is a **_**religion **_**NOT an ethnicity! **eva sinse den hes hated blak ppl" **Why would you hate African people if you're half African?**

"wel vadermort looks kind o jewish. **How does someone look Jewish? That's like saying someone looks Christian.** do u tink dey cud b da same guy" **THERE ARE SO MANY JEWISH PEOPLE IN THE WORLD! They are two VERY different people. **

"i don no" sed shieqwaz.

den i had an idea dat wud rly work **Of course. Gary Stu to the rescue. **

AN: wel dat wuz a clifhangr!11 **No it wasn't.**

* * *

**A/N: Review? They encourage me to put up with this junk for your enjoyment :) **


	9. Chapter 9

******A/N: Here we go...**

* * *

AN: sory it tok so long dis was a long chapta an i had 2 look up how 2 spell snapes words.** And you can't spell the little words? Give me a break, moron.**

snape wuz wakkin down da halway. "yes now that weve gotten that awful nigger **RACIST! **off my hands nothing will get in the way of my plans!1" **Please kill him. I will bow down before you if you do. **

he keppt on wakkin down da halway. **Interesting detail. I've learned so much about this story. **

"only 1 more thing could make this day even better" he sed. den he saw somden on da ground. it wuz a 5 dolla bill.

"ohhhh a 5 dollor bill" sed snape. he bent down to pik it up. but den... it moved just out of his reech! **Oh dear no. Not this trick. **

"that was odd" sed snape. an he bent down to pik it up agin. but it movd agin!

"well this is making me quite angry" sed snape. and evrytim he pikd it up it went out of his reech.

he went 2 da end of da halway "ahh i got u now!" he sed. but wen he sed dat a sak went ova his hed! **NO! I'm cheering for Snape in this one. **

"got u" i sed.

"curses" sed snape.

"we got u now" sed shieqwan"

"let me go" sed snape.

we put him in a rum an put him in a char.

"SHIEQWAN" sed snake.

"brodder" sed shieqwan.

"r u vadermort?" i sed. **WTF? Why would you ASK that?**

"ill never tell" sed snape. **Oh PLEASE! There is so much canon-rape in this! Make it stop!**

"not even 4... 5 dollors" **Seriously?**

snape lookd lik he wuz gonna eat dat 5 dolla bill. **Uh…ok…**

"ok" sed snape "ill tell u if im vadermort or not. mi tru identidy is"... **What the…?**

den wit his magik he got out of da char.

"gettim" sed shieqwan.

i tryd. but i cudnt cuz dey tok away mah wand in jail. **You're a Gary Stu! You don't NEED a wand!**

"hes gettin away" sed shieqwan. **No shoes, Sherlock. **

den snape got out his gun.

"now youll die... FOREVER!11111111111" he sed. **THANK YOU! GO SNAPE!**

"NOT IF I KILL U FIRST" sed shieqwan. **NOOOOOOO**

"you wont hurt me im your brothr" sed snape.

"yes i wud snape... or shud i say... VADERMORT" sed shieqwan. **Vadermort? Is this some combination of Darth Vader and Voldemort? Now **_**that's **_**scary. **

"how did you know" sed snape.

"its queyt simpl" sed shieqwan "bcuz u an vadermort r never in da smae place at da same time!" **Oh come on! My sister and I are in the same place at the same time a lot. THAT DOESN'T MAKE US THE SAME PERSON! Plus if they were the same people, you would only be able to see **_**one **_**of the alter egos. Correct? Very flawed logic my friend. **

"DAM U" sed snape. "u were 2 smart for me" **No, he's so stupid you can't comprehend it. **

"now dat u no mi secret i cant let u life"

den he started 2 shoot bullets on me. mi blud wuz goin evrywere. an den i died. **Again? Please stop with the dying and coming back to life thing. It's getting annoying. **

AN: is dis da end... or is it! ***epic sigh of the apocalypse***

* * *

**A/N: Review?**


End file.
